The narcissist is trying to condition, brainwash you into doubting your own thoughts and feelings when they gaslight you. The narcissist plays sadistic mind games on you to confuse you and keep you on shaky ground, they don't want you to feel sure about yourself or the relationship you have with them. The narcissist doesn't want you to feel free, their goal is to guide your thoughts, feelings and actions much like a dictator would. Trust in your gut feelings, intuition and hunches more as the narcissist wants you to lose your sense of self. The narcissist feels threatened by the idea of you becoming a separate individual to them.

Do you believe narcs are aware of what they are doing or it's without conscious awareness?

Hi, the higher end malignant narcs are definitely aware of what they are doing, the lower end narcs would be as well to some extent. The narcissist is an opportunistic and predatory person who likes attention from others, this makes them competitive and around others they can get excited and blurt out things that are embarrassing to you and themselves but it doesn't seem to faze them. Being emotionally immature and insensitive they can appear childlike, like a big kid at times which adds to the innocent persona they want to portray, it gives them an out so to speak. I believe they are aware of what they are doing especially the deep thinking more covert types. The narcissist can be very spiteful they do seem to have a devious nature.